Relationships with men

  • Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man.
  • Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image.
  • You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a man, but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what.
  • Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that.”
  • Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it.
  • Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.
  • Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness.
  • Your relationships with men are devoid of passion.
  • Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can't identify.
  • Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you're interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic.
  • Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually.
  • Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends.
  • Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals.
  • Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless.
  • After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with.
  • Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone.